C.O.G.

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"I was a smart-ass, born and raised. This had been my curse and would continue to be so. Instructing me in religious faith was like trying to teach a goat to cook a fine meal - it just wasn't going to happen. I was too greedy and inattentive, and the ultimate reward meant nothing to me."

C.O.G. from Naked, p. 199
By David Sedaris
Published 1997